When I was nine, I went to a basketball camp at a local college. At the end of the week, the camp counselors gave us all report cards. My friends each got "Excellent!" and "You rock!" written all over their cards, while mine read, "Left hand is weak. Must increase shooting range. Rebounding is poor."
I cried when I got the report card. I was so mad at my counselor because I just wanted to be told that I was amazing and that I was going to play Division I basketball and make the WNBA. I did NOT want to be told that I had areas I needed to improve in, things I had to work on. I did not want to be told the truth.
A lot of times, the truth can be hard to hear because we don't want to know about our flaws and imperfections. We don't want someone else to tell us what we're doing wrong.
It's so popular for people to say, "Only God can judge me."
So what if I drink? So what if I cheat on tests? So what if I go to clubs? Why the heck should you care? It has nothing to do with you. Only God can judge me.
Judging has earned itself a negative connotation, but God actually commands us to judge our brothers and to hold them accountable.
I Corinthians 6:2 says, "Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases?"
If we're going to one day judge the entire world, then we definitely should be able to judge topics such as alcohol, swearing, and modesty. We are supposed to be filled with the wisdom of Christ. We're supposed to be making these judgement calls.
People usually say "nobody can judge me" because they don't want to stop what they're doing. Nobody wants to be told to clean up his act because nobody wants to change his ways, but as Christians, it is our responsibility to hold others accountable.
It's pretty cool to quote Matthew 7: "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
We stop right there and say that nobody should judge us and we shouldn't judge anybody else. I guess we forget to read ahead a few lines to verse 5, which says, "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
In John 7:24, Jesus commands us to "stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly."
Jesus doesn't tell us not to judge; he tells us to judge right.
Judgment is far more than just condemnation. To judge is to distinguish between good and bad, right and wrong, beautiful and ugly—and Jesus commands us to do this in Matthew 7:6, when he says "do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs." To label someone or something as a "dog" or a "pig" is to judge them, and Jesus tells us to make that distinction between good and bad.
And then in I Corinthians 2, we are told that "the person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things."
So, it's not the judging that we are warned about, but the hypocrisy. Romans 2 chastises Christians who cast judgment on their neighbors and "yet do the same things."
This is why it is so important for us to get our lives in order. We are all human and we all sin, yes, and it's only through God's mercy that we can be saved—but we are still called to pursue holiness. We let addictions and habits continue to control our lives without us ever putting up a good fight, and we try to act as if they are no big deal.
But they are a big deal! If we don't clean up our own lives, then how can we tell someone else to clean up theirs? And why should they even listen to us? If we're living the wrong way, then we aren't in much of a position to help someone else.
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| That's a box-out. |
Back in high school, I was the point guard on the basketball team. The point guard is basically "the coach on the floor," the one who calls out plays, and controls the tempo, and keeps their teammates from getting too nervous or careless. I remember one game when our rebounding was just atrocious—we were giving the team extra shots because we were too lazy to box out. As the point guard, it was my job to call my teammates out and yell, "Hey, you need to step it up right here. Start boxing out or we're going to lose this game!"
I couldn't hold my teammates accountable, though, because I wasn't boxing out, either. I remember thinking to myself, How can I yell at everyone else when I'm doing the same exact thing?
I constantly feel this way off the court, too. I hear my friends gossiping or see them watching a bad movie, and I want to come in and say, "Guys, we really shouldn't be doing this."
But then I think, I gossip all the time! I watch tons of movies that I shouldn't! Who am I to judge?
And so I'm trying to clean up my own life. I have a long way to go, but I'm putting in the effort. I will never, ever, be anywhere close to perfect, but I'm aiming to get rid of the guilt that so often has kept me from reaching out to my friends. I'm trying to get to a point where people will respect me enough to listen when I call them out. Am I there yet? Probably not, but I'm working at it.
It's selfish for us to continue sinning if it is going to hinder us from righteously judging others. It is our responsibility to call our fellow Christians out if they are behaving in ways displeasing to God. If we know our friend has something in his life that is keeping him from having a deeper relationship with Christ, but we don't talk to him about it, then what kind of friend are we?
James 5:20 says, "Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins."
We can't just let someone continue on a path to death. We are supposed to intervene.
Think about it this way: what if your parents had never disciplined you? What if you were always able to do whatever you wanted because your parents didn't want to "judge" you?
For me, the outcome would have been awful.
Growing up, I wasn't exactly the world's greatest kid. I know, I know—that's hard to believe. But just ask anyone who knew me about ten years ago, and they'll tell you that I was definitely not an angel. My track record includes pulling hair, biting my brother, giving my grandmother a unique blend of homemade "lemonade," ruining wedding pictures by refusing to smile, stuffing my younger cousin in the hamper when I got sick of him, and calling a girl in my kindergarten class "four eyes" even though she didn't actually have glasses.
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| That's me in the front—probably about to shove someone overboard. |
I was constantly being punished because I was constantly doing stupid things. I'm pretty sure I spent most of my childhood being sent to my room, where I would sob and write in my diary about how "so totally awful" my parents were. And then a few minutes later, my mom would see little apology notes parachuting down the stairs because I always felt terrible once I realized I had done something mean.
My parents always punished me when I did something bad. I used to get mad at them and yell at them for being unfair, but now I'm glad that they punished me like they did. I still make mistakes all the time—especially saying things without thinking—but I'm a lot better than I used to be. Sometimes I think of how I would have turned out if my parents never disciplined me. . . and all I know is that I probably would have no friends right now.
Fortunately, my parents cared enough to punish me. I'm so lucky that I had people in my life who were honest with me about my shortcomings, people who cared enough to tell me ways that I could improve.
And I'm lucky that I still have people to hold me accountable. My parents, my cousins, my best friends, my coaches—they all care enough about me to tell me when I'm doing something wrong.
Judging correctly isn't easy. It requires us to get our own lives in order, to put the interests of others ahead of our own. But it's our job, our responsibility, our calling as Christians.
I Peter 4:8 says, "But above all, love each other deeply."
I've come to the conclusion that without discipline, there can be no love, and that is why we must judge.
If we want to help out our friends, then we need to start striving for purity in our own lives. If we want to hold our teammates accountable, then we better start boxing out.
